About 3 weeks ago, I stumbled upon an article that stopped me in my tracks and had me gnawing on my fingernails. Not because I was nervous––although it is a nervous habit of mine, but because I was undone.
Undone because for the very first time since I became a writer, I was vulnerable and exposed to my self-imposed creative captivity. Why? Because for a long time, I've held the belief that the stars had to align or something (or someone) had to have pity on me and recognize me for taking a step towards what I wanted before I could make it big.
It’s been a good while since I did any writing on my own platform. Rather than call it a hiatus, I’d like to call it a sabbatical. If you’re familiar with this term in the academic world, it’s where the professor takes about a year off to go research, have fun, or discover something while getting paid.
I’ve been on a self-imposed creativity sabbatical for the last 4 weeks and have come to some pretty earth-shattering realizations.
In 2011, I started writing online. I created my first blog on WordPress and talked about anything and everything. My blog was called Worship & Swag where I talked about the intersection of faith and culture. I didn't have an audience in mind at the time; I just wanted to write. Slowly and steadily, I amassed followers and "likers" in tens and hundreds. And like a moth to a flame, I became obsessed about personal development and digital marketing.
I learned so much about creating online products and services,
I have a dream to build a philanthropic movement that grows beyond my profession as a nurse. This will require the ability to generate funds to accomplish goals like building community hospitals, making sure that public health in poor countries becomes a household topic, and supporting other worthy causes (like volunteering as a racial justice facilitator to create safe spaces for people to talk about current events in our nation).
But I soon learned that I can’t finance my dreams with just my bi-weekly wages.
It’s been a while since I sat down to write a decent post. Rather than blame it on some writer’s block or other excuses, I’ve decided to call it what it is: resistance to create.
Mental block or inability to think creatively. It is what it is. I’ve been in a slump where all I do is observe the happenings in the online business world and in the world at large. Strangely, it all seems like the wave of change has hit the entrepreneurial space faster than I anticipated.